Dr Neha Bhave Salankar is an MD in Psychiatry, who works as a Consultant Psychiatrist in Nagpur
Many of us have experienced the highs of young love, fights, painful separations and the gooey lovey dovey melting of insides. Over time, patterns emerge in our own relationship and some couples seem to stand stronger than others. So what is it that makes some couples have ‘fevicol ka jod’ while others just whither away like cottonwood seeds?
Good communication skills go a long way in maintaining relationships. Open, honest talks about issues that are troubling either or both partners help resolve issues much faster than sulking or passing ‘hints’ and expecting the other person to ‘understand.’
Transparency and honesty are essential, as without these you cannot trust your partner. If you remain second guessing everything your partner says or does, there will be no peace of mind and the relationship is destined to be doomed. No relationship can be balanced without empathy. Unless you cannot feel the pain or happiness that affects your partner, you cannot share their sorrows or joy. Empathy helps you connect with others on a deeper emotional level helping form long lasting bonds.
Learn to appreciate the pains and efforts taken by your partner and acknowledge them. A kind word, a small gesture like a hug or a smile reinforces the desire to be better and do more. Don’t keep digging up past misdeeds and throw them in each other’s face during arguments.
Lastly, as my professor says, a non-judgmental acceptance of your partner is the utopia of any relationship. Although very difficult to achieve in entirety, any effort towards the same leads to happiness in the relationship more than anything else. Like everything else in life, your partner will come as a package with things that you like as well as dislike.
Understanding that all of us have flaws and no one’s perfect while working around each other’s quirks or even laughing at them creates maximum harmony in a relationship. People are not like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly. Our personalities are so multifaceted that there is bound to be friction over some issues or the other. Relationships are all about give and take. You win some; you lose some. Relationships sustain only if you can do both with a smile.
Remember, a great relationship isn’t when a perfect couple comes together, but when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
The ideas and information expressed are solely by the columnist and not by Nation Next.